Who you're really fighting in court

Desiree:

Good morning!  I thought I should let you know that I recently explained to
Gabriel that in a family court proceeding, such as ours, the court is only
involved when the parties (you and I) are unable or refuse to come to an
agreement on their own.

And, since I have stated both to you and to the court that I am, and will
continue to, only seek that which Gabriel says he wants then I am nothing
more than Gabriel's representative or voice in the courtroom (as is
evidenced by my statement in court at the last hearing where I said I am
concerned about committing to the summer visitation dates because I've not
conferred with Gabriel on it).  And you are, therefore, actually fighting
Gabriel in court, not me.

And, since I am completely devoid of emotion, I am utterly unaffected by
your ongoing refusal to consider anyone other than yourself.  Gabriel, on
the other hand, still does believe in emotions (somewhat, though with time
I will be able to educate him on the topic and he will come around - we
made significant progress on his most recent visit) and is clearly hurt and
confused by your ongoing contradictions (the discrepancy between what you
say and what you do).

So, who do you really believe you're fighting in court?  And why do you
believe you're doing it?

How can you possibly think it's good for Gabriel to hear you say you love
him every twenty minutes, but then take him to court to force him to be
where he doesn't want to be - when there's no logic benefit for him to be
with you as opposed to me (I mean, how does Gabriel benefit more by being
with you than with me?  You have more vices; you're emotionally and
psychologically less stable; you're financially less stable; you don't
teach him life skills or responsibility (as evidenced by his refusal to
accept responsibility for his math grade); you can't teach him masculine
things (like how to shave); you're evidently Marxist (with all your talk
about not "needing" luxury things); you refuse to teach him to appreciate
for the finer things in life; you don't anticipate and prepare for
adversity - you wait for it to happen then respond to it, so you're always
putting out fires and "trying to fix what's happened to you"; you've,
literally, never accept responsibility for your own actions when they've
had an adverse outcome; you chronically rely on others to fix your
mistakes...the list of how I'm a better person and better parent than you
and can offer him more, is endless.

In closing, when you're preparing for the next hearing remember: you're
opponent is Gabriel...you're trying to get the court to rule in your
favor...against Gabriel...not me.

Fox

P.S. Consider that when you tell Gabriel that the court has ruled in your
favor (including postponing a ruling) and he will be staying with you
longer, you're effectively telling your opponent that he lost and must
remain your prisoner.  And yes, I do mean "prisoner" because he has made a
thoughtful, rational decision to be raised by me, according to my values
and beliefs, based on articulable facts and considerations, yet you are
openly opposing that decision and forcing him to remain with you against
his will.  That is a prisoner by any definition.  Now, how do you think
that makes him "feel"?  I bet you've never even considered that, have you?

P.P.S. When you get right down to it, Gabriel is not with you because the
court ordered it - he is with you because YOU want it.  Even if the court
ordered it, YOU, as the custodial parent, have every right to relinquish
that custody at any time and allow him to reside with the other parent.  I
made sure he understood that so that he understands that it is YOU, not the
court, that is causing him to be with you, in Arizona, against his will.